Why Getting Your Best Body Isn’t Even About Your Body

Do you ever eat an indulgent treat or meal and then feel guilty afterward?
Do you ever “beat yourself up” for missing a workout?


Do you ever have a really GREAT week of eating and exercise only to sabotage your efforts on the weekend?


Do you ever try to have just one bite of something “cheat-y” and end up eating the whole thing?

Yes. A hundred times, yes! I’ve totally done those all of those things myself, and it’s rough.

We as women have a tough time forgiving ourselves and moving on. I want you to consider this: that your thoughts and lack of self-forgiveness are both quite possibly holding you back from your best body, life, and self! Not forgiving and accepting the past (even if it was a few minutes ago!) and moving on is detrimental to your mind and ultimately to your body.

Our thoughts are so STRONG and affect us so much more than we realize.

Research in psychology has proven over and over again, that self-acceptance is a greater motivator for change than guilt, shame, and beating yourself up! Research gives you PERMISSION to be a happier person and STILL be able to move forward more effectively with your goals!  Isn’t that good news?

I don’t know about you, but using guilt and shame as a motivator ends up de-motivating me!

The answers to moving forward with goals and body change, all while accepting your current self, lie in your mind…in your thoughts.

not about your body

Mindset is the absolute KEY for lasting change. Without the proper mindset tools, we allow ourselves to slip back into old ways. We think that because we weren’t perfect in meeting our goals or doing what we said we were going to do “starting Monday” that we’ve failed.

Guess what? Perfection is a MYTH. It’s our arch-enemy. It keeps us down and feeling out of control of things. Expecting perfection makes us feel small and insecure because we know we are fighting an uphill battle, a lost cause. Being perfect is a BIG yet impossible job!

What’s the alternative to this “stinkin’ thinkin'” you may wonder? If being perfect isn’t an option, what can you do instead and still make progress?

I’d like to offer you a few tools as an alternative to being perfect and motivated by guilt or shame. These tools will come in handy on the road to your best body and life.

Like any toolbox, only dig out the one that you need and works best for you for the job. Don’t expect that every tool is right for you right now, but find the one(s) that resonate most with you and where you are on your journey.

I know that my most successful coaching clients latch on to mindset tools and that gives them the edge they need to ultimately succeed!

Here are some of my favorite mindset tools for you to consider for YOUR toolbox (and they are not about your body but how you think about your body):

  • Put the past behind you and control the choices that are in front of you TODAY at this very moment. You can’t do anything about last week or even 5 minutes ago! It’s over. Done. Move on! Press on toward your goal. Look ahead and not back.
  • Let good enough be good enough. Like I said earlier, perfection is a myth. Perfection is the enemy of good! It traps up in a place where we accept doing NOTHING as “ok” because we couldn’t perfect it ALL. Why do we pressure ourselves in this way? Who else on this planet do we expect perfection from besides ourselves? Keep this tool in your back pocket EVERY day—-> Let good enough be good enough!
  • Control the little things you can each day, and do the best you can in circumstances that are outside of your control. Trust yourself to make wise choices on the fly. Practice this skill at work, when you’re eating out, when you are at a wedding reception, when you go to a baby shower, or at a holiday meal with family. Anywhere you find yourself is an opportunity to practice and hone your skills and ability to make wise choices.
  • Keep a positive mindset! Avoid feeling victimized by your choices and/or blaming others for your choices OR for what food is available. This victim mindset will weigh you down. Instead, keep your mind positive, plan ahead for situations that you can, do your best when you can’t plan ahead, and if you’re ultimately unhappy with your choices, be forgiving of yourself and move on.
  • Focus on behaviors, not outcomes. You can never control outcomes, so it serves you best to mentally disconnect from the expectation of a specific outcome. As bad as we want to control outcomes, we can’t. When you focus on consistent behaviors, positive change will follow. If you want true, lasting change, you have to implement behaviors that lead to that change. I know, I know….  it’s hard sometimes. I totally get it! That’s why it’s important to take small, baby steps and not try to change EVERYTHING in one day. No one has the willpower to make so many permanent changes ALL at once! Instead, choose a behavior to focus on for a week or 2. My clients will often do this and find much more success than others who try to overhaul their whole entire life in a day. Some examples would be increasing your protein intake, increasing the amount of water you drink, walking 30 minutes 3x per week, fitting in some exercise, or focus on eating “x” servings of veggies per day. Pick ONE behavior and you’ll see the trickle-down effect. 🙂
  • Shift your thoughts around food. Think about eating foods that make your body feel energized and not sluggish instead of just focusing on what you *think* you’re missing out on. Do you see the difference? In the former example, you are thinking positively and living with joy and with self-care in mind. In the latter example, you are coming from a place of lack, fear, and scarcity around food. Food will always be there for you when you *really* want it. There’s no reason to eat food simply because it’s available at the moment and you fear missing out!
  • Indulge without guilt from time to time, but be a food snob when you do! When you do choose to indulge, do it intelligently and with moderation so that you don’t feel terrible -both mentally and physically – the next day. Life is to be enjoyed!  If you are living with guilt over food, joy will be sucked right out of you. This is why it’s important to balance your thoughts and your choices.

I hope you’ve found a mindset tool or 2 or 3 🙂 that can help you on your journey to your best body! I’ve found over the years that clients who embrace the “mindset journey” are the ones who are the most successful in the long run. They are able to change and shift their thought process which helps them embrace the journey of body change.

In health and fitness,

xo ~Jill

p.s. If you’re wanting information about coaching services that I recommend, here is my top suggestion to help you reach your goals!

FASTer Way to Fat Loss is a 6 Week Boot Camp that Utilizes Carb Cycling and Intermittent Fasting – HIGHLY effective program!

Affiliate Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. Your program pricing does not go up, but if you register through my link I get a bit for referring you. Thanks for supporting my blog!
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  1. […] come from a “quick fix” plan. It takes time, practice, and patience to master the mindset piece, to make necessary changes in your lifestyle, and do the detective work it takes to be successful. […]

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